In times of trouble it is not easy to think clearly and sometimes rationally.
It is not enough to be saving a relationship in that condition that’s why in
order to be saving a relationship effectively we often need outside help from
outside our family and circle of friends.
Those experienced in saving a relationship effectively are less likely to be
irrational and you will find them thinking very clearly due to having no
emotional attachment to either party. They remember what it’s like to have a
wonderful relationship and their objective is to steer you and your partner
back to that position.
However it won’t stop a couple from trying to correct a failing relationship
themselves as long as both realize that fact and both want to work to saving
Identifying The Problem
We shall purposely keeping away from obvious deal breaking problems like
adultery or others as it is easy to know what the real problem is. We are
considering the problems of living and melding of two different people into
one harmonious loving relationship and looking for exactly what is stopping
that from happening.
Couples will sprout off 2 or 3 problem points about the other and say that
is the center of the problem. When saving a relationship effectively you need
to look past the surface issues to find where these 2 or 3 problems are coming
from. Often they stem back to one significant event, habit, or one real problem
like selfishness or fighting for dominance for example.
Once we have broken through all the outside issues and discover the real
underlying problem then we can start working on getting things back on track.
How To Tackle The Problem
Unless your relationship has remained close it could be difficult to getting your
partner sitting down and talking, particularly about problems that may open up
something that may hurt. Therefore it is prudent to have their feelings in mind
when approaching the need to sit down and talk.
You see you have already gone over what we discussed above and unless your
partner was there they will be blind as to what you may be or wanting to talk
about. It then becomes very wise to choose the exact right time to request a
sitting. You may need to lovingly work the situation into a closer more interment
atmosphere whereby it becomes much easier to talk and present little viewpoints.
In the end however you both need to talk to resolve the tensions.
Where There is Love
You can say almost anything (respectfully) to one who deeply loves you under
normal circumstances, yet if your partner is wounded due to harsh word,
selfishness, or any other thing then your words need to be chosen very carefully
When a couple with severe problems were asked, separately, if they still loved
the other almost 100% of the time the answer is yes. This in itself says that most
problems can and are resolved when there is love.
Then by looking past surface problems deep enough to find the real problem
together and doing it with the feelings of your partner in mind and out of deep
love and respect for them Saving a Relationship effectively is not that hard at all.
But what if one party does not want to try? More on that next time!
This post has been edited by Ray Casey: Jul 2 2012, 08:12 PM