How do you know when you are in love? How do you tell the difference between a crush or infatuation and real love?
Beth, San Antonio, Texas Beth, 30, San Antonio, Texas
The simple answer is, you just do! It's like no other feeling you have ever experienced. You can't stop thinking about the person; your heart skips a beat every time you see them. You don't care about anything else, and would do anything in the world for that person. You click on every level: hobbies, personality, likes, dislikes. It's the most amazing feeling in the world! I don't believe there is such a thing as love at first sight. I think there is attraction at first sight but you truly have to know a person to fall in love with them. That is the difference between love and a crush. Chances are if you are infatuated with someone or have a crush on them you don't really know that person and the street is one way (you have feelings but they don't feel the same). True love is a two-way street -- the other person feels the same way about you as you feel about them.
Trevor, Boise, Idah Trevor, 30, Boise, Idaho
I know I'm in love when I feel like the one I'm with was made for me by God himself. They're designed to be your other half and you question everything in your life that has every happened up until the point you meet them and everything in your life changes. Your every sense is heightened as if you're intoxicated with this feeling of total bliss! You'll know when it's real.
Cathy, Moorpark, Calif. Cathy, 46, Moorpark, California
You know you're in love when there is no hesitation in expressing yourself. When you feel you can share anything and everything. When you are not anxious about making a commitment. Mostly, you don't feel the need to look around for greener pasture. You don't think that maybe the next man you meet may be better. You are willing to check this relationship out...see where it goes. A crush or an infatuation doesn't last long -- it's not satisfying and doesn't usually turn into a long-term relationship.
Michael, Sacramento, Calif. Michael, 45, Sacramento, California
When you are in love you will just know it. There is no formula or logic to love. You just feel it in your heart, your mind, and your soul. The feeling is something you can't describe but can arise at any moment, triggered by a memory, a word or a thought of that special person. The difference between a crush/infatuation and real love is that a crush is someone you may forget about during the course of a day/week/month. Someone you may think of a few moments from time-to-time that you can do fun things with such as dates, dinner, and movies. A real love is someone that you cannot live without, someone who is constantly on your mind, day in and day out. It's someone you can't wait to talk to next. Someone who you can't wait to see for whatever reason!
Marilyn, Pleasanton, California Marilyn, 57, Pleasanton, Calif.
It's a fast way to lose 20 lbs. You can't eat. You toss and turn at night and have butterflies in the tummy. Oh what a feeling! That's love. On the other hand, a crush is gone in about a week! Infatuation is purely physical, but then again all of these can be physical.
Isaiah, Cincinnati, Ohio Isaiah, 34, Cincinnati, Ohio
It's hard to describe being in love; you simply know it when you feel it. A crush is a romantic bliss state where the person does no wrong. Infatuation is where there is no care about the big picture and your enjoying the hot sensation of the moment like a fast-burning candle. Being in love is like an anchor of reason and romance living in balance. Unlike a crush or infatuation, love is comforting as it settles from the spiking highs and lows. Love is a condition of the heart and mind. Love is understanding the "why" behind your acceptance. Love is warm.
Anny, Tempe, Arizona Anny, 24, Tempe, Ariz.
I think the difference between a crush and an infatuation is only in degree and neither of them is even close to the meaning of real love. I perceive a crush to be something rather platonic. For example, your best friend's brother is a cutie and you have a crush on him, that type of thing.
An infatuation is intense and often times, short lived. In infatuation, people tend to idealize the other person and fail to see their shortcomings. They emphasize the positive attributes in the other person and this adds to the intensity of their infatuation, which they mistakenly perceive as "real love," or more accurately described, they feel they are "in love."
Being in love is an exhilarating feeling, and it has the potential to become real love. Being in love is like the hook for the opportunity of real love to present itself. When you are in love with someone, you feel very attracted to the other person, in several different levels: physical, mental, emotional and yes, spiritual. From getting to know the person with whom you are in love, real love has the opportunity to flourish.
Real love, unlike an infatuation is realistic. Real love is a complete acceptance of the other person, and of oneself. Because if you can't love yourself, who can you love? Or who will love you? Complete acceptance does not mean that we don't find shortcomings in the other person, as that is not possible, we are humans and we are not perfect, we all make mistakes. Complete acceptance means discernment with no judgment. It means that we accept the whole package just as it is, without trying to change the other person to meet our every need.
Real love resides in knowing one another. In knowing what our strengths are, what our weaknesses are, what our potential is. In knowing these things we come to respect, and admire each other, and out of that, real love is born. In the words of Wayne Dyer, " Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you."
Robert, Denver, Colorado Robert, 39, Denver, Colo.
Love is when a stunning woman, a stranger, walks into the room and you look over to the one you're with, the one you've shared many conversations and memories with. You look at her and can't wait to be alone so that you can hold her in your arms. That is when love becomes so much more then infatuation.
Sharena, Placentia, California Sharena, 34, Placentia, Calif.
I know I'm in love when I feel an overwhelming sense of complete surrender and awe for another person and a feeling of completeness when we're together -- and incompleteness when we're apart. Real love can only be achieved through the test of time and mutually getting to know each other. I don't think real love is ever a one-way street. A crush or infatuation is a feeling of desire for a person based on my fantasy of what could be, should be, or might be, but not necessarily what is. It's kinda like my relationship with Rick S.
Mike, Virginia Beach, Virginia Mike, 42, Virginia Beach, Va.
How do I know when I'm in love? When no sacrifice is too big, no distance is too great. When every time I think of her, I feel happier than the moment before. When I see her in everything I do and everywhere I am. When her love in return wraps me like a warm blanket. Then I know. A crush doesn't come close.
Gloria, Rochester, New York Gloria, 50, Rochester, N.Y.
Infatuation is that "floaty" feeling you get when you meet someone and the chemistry is right. The head has absolutely nothing to do with it at this point and you really don't know the person inside yet. You haven't had a chance to "love" the real person. It's all surface in the beginning and most people mistake that for real love. Usually, we're more excited about the high you initially get. Sometimes we can start creating this scenario of love in our head. It's fun to feel like you're in love. We sometimes create all of these wonderful thoughts about this person without even knowing them. It doesn't mean love can't follow after you have really gotten to know the person, their heart, their soul, but it isn't love in the beginning. Love grows with time. If a relationship is very new and you think you're in love, ask yourself, "What is it about the person that you love?" Sometimes the person is not kind to others; he likes to flirt and was unfaithful to his ex, but still you think, "but, I'm in love". When you get to know and are in love with the person, along with that wonderful "floaty" feeling you get in the very beginning, that's when you know it's something you can count on. That "floaty" feeling is just nature's way of making sure we repopulate the planet. Be smart and use your head with your heart.
Rick, Parker, Colorado Rick, 50, Parker, Colo.
I know I am in love with someone when I cannot control my feelings. When I cannot stop thinking of her -- then I know I feel love. If it is a crush or infatuation, then I know I can shut her off and think of someone else; even plan a date with another for a later time. But, if I cannot do that and do not want to see anyone else, continue to think of her all day into the night, look forward to seeing her again and put aside all others, I am in love. It has been wonderful when I have felt that way. I have had many a crush, but have been in love only a few times to the point of forsaking all others, including friends, to be with her.
Lei, Broomfield, Colorado Lei, 40, Broomfield, Colo.
When I'm in love I feel that I'd like to do anything to make him happy. I think that the difference between a crush or infatuation and real love are taken - you want someone badly and given - you're willing to let him/her go.
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