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	<title>Dreamteammoney.com | Humour, Jokes and Comedy Clips</title>
	<description>Humour, Jokes and Comedy Clips</description>
	<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php</link>
	<pubDate>Wed, 10 Mar 2010 11:57:39 -0500</pubDate>
	<ttl>1440</ttl>
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		<title>The Good Samaritan And The Drunk</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=94051</link>
		<description><![CDATA[A good samaritan was walking home late one night when he<br />came upon this drunk on the sidewalk.<br /><br />Wanting to help, he asked the drunk “do you live here?”<br /><br />“Yep”.<br /><br />“Would you like me to help you upstairs?”<br /><br />“Yep”.<br /><br />When they got up on the second floor, the good person asked<br />“Is this your floor?”<br /><br />“Yep”.<br /><br />Then the good samaritan got to thinking that maybe he didn’t<br />want to face the man’s irate and tired wife because she may<br />think he was the one who got the man drunk. So, he opened<br />the first door he came to and shoved him through it then went<br />back downstairs.<br /><br />However, when he went back outside, there was another drunk.<br /><br />So he asked that drunk “Do you live here?”<br /><br />“Yep”.<br /><br />“Would you like me to help you upstairs?”<br /><br />“Yep”.<br /><br />So he did and put him in the same door with the first drunk.<br />Then went back downstairs where, to his surprise,<br />there was another drunk.<br /><br />So he started over to him. But before he got to him, the drunk<br />staggered over to a policeman and cried “Please officer,<br />protect me from this man.”<br /><br />“He’s been doing nothing all night long but taking me upstairs<br />and throwing me down the elevator shaft!”<br />]]></description>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:09:44 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">94051</guid>
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		<title>Counterfeiter</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=94050</link>
		<description><![CDATA[A counterfeiter decided that the easiest way to pass off<br />his phony $18 bills would be to unload them in some<br />small rural town, so he drove until he found a tiny town<br />with a single general merchandise store.<br /><br />He entered the store, went up to the counter, and handed<br />one of the bogus bills to the man behind the counter.<br /><br />“Could you change this for me, please?”<br /><br />The store clerk looked at the bill for a few seconds then<br />smiled at the man.<br /><br />“Of course I can. Would you prefer two $9 bills or<br />three $6 bills?”<br />]]></description>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Mar 2010 14:57:10 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">94050</guid>
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		<title>Encounter With Ex -sas Officer - Jack Dee</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=93995</link>
		<description><![CDATA[<br /> <img src="http://www.dreamteammoney.com/style_emoticons/default/rofl4.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":rofl4:" border="0" alt="rofl4.gif" /> <br /><br /><!--sizeo:5--><span style="font-size:18pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->One of my favourite British comics, Jack Dee.<br /><br /><!--sizeo:5--><span style="font-size:18pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->Link will take you to the Youtube clip<!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec--><br /><br /><br /><a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFTT4Ve8-BE" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Jack Dee Live At The Apollo</a><!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->]]></description>
		<pubDate>Tue, 09 Mar 2010 00:26:33 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">93995</guid>
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		<title>Free Rapidshare Premium Account....plus ...make Money By Just Clicking Ads</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=93843</link>
		<description><![CDATA[OK... So we all want a free Rapidshare Premium Account! You can easily get one for free by just following a few easy steps.. Getting a free RS account seems to be the 'Holy Grail' for many internet users & the truth is getting one for free is very very rare unless you earn your free account. Some users give out their account no's & passwords but these are quickly changed as soon as they are shared! You may also have downloaded files from rapidshare that promise to have accounts for free but 99.9% of the time these are scams just to get you to download a RS link to top up their collectors points. Other 'Free Rapidshare Account' sites will get you to sign up to various offers like 'Screen Saver' sites that almost always have trojans & viruses attached. Other sites ask you to complete a ridiculous amount of sign-up offers to get only a 3 month RS account. <br /><br />To Summarize - You need to put something in to get something out. i.e: if you sign up to the sites below (all are 100% free to join - they will never ask you for money)- You can earn unlimited funds just for surfing, completing surveys, testing products & viewing 30 second ads.<br />Detailed information is given below: <br /><br />There are many sites from which you can earn money by just clikcking and viewing ads. These sites are called "Paid-to- Click Sites" (PTC). The complete, step by step detail is given below: <br /><br /><br />STEP 1. These PTC sites send money (earned by you) to your alertpay account. So you need a alertpay account,  and singnup for "Account".(it is free): <br /><br />Note: During registration for alertpay account, give the genuine information(address, country, city, name etc.) about you becauses they send money directly to your bank account or check to your residence.<br /><br /><br />ALERTPAY<br /><br />What is Alertpay: AlertPay is an internet payment service allowing you to send and receive money online securely and quickly.  <br /><br /><br /><br />STEP 2. Below is the list of Paid-to-Click (PTC) sites, Click on all of them to join them: <br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />How to click and view ads: After login to the site, click on surf ads, a list of ads would appear, click on first ad, a new page would open, you would see a countdown from 30 to 1 or 20 to 1 at the top of the website, wait untill countdown ends. After ending the countdown you would see "$" sign, it means you have been credited then click second ad and do the same as before. You have to click only 1 ad at one time, if you click two ads at once, you would not be credited.<br />Some PTC sites pay you $ 0.01(1 cent) and some pay upto $0.10(10 cents) for clicking on a single ad. So, if you join atleast 5 PTC sites and click the ads everyday, you can earn a good money in a few days to purchase a 1 month's rapidshare premium account. <br /><br /><br /><br />STEP 3. But if you want to buy rapidshare account for full 1 year and want to earn some extra income also, then you would have to earn more money. You can earn it very easily, see how:<br />These PTC sites also have decent referral system. It means if you refer someone to join these PTC sites and when he clicks ads, you would get 50% to 100% commission. So if you refer more people, you would get more money. These PTC sites also sell referrals, so if you can not refer the people then you can buy or rent them in a few dollars.<br />First, earn some money by clicking the ads everyday then buy referrals with that money. With those referrals you would be able to earn money very fast, then again reinvest the money to buy more referrals and do the same again and again untill you reach to 100-150 referrals. With 100 referral you can earn upto $300 per month. If you want to earn more than buy more referrals. Thus, with these PTC sites, you would not only be able to buy rapidshare account but also a good extra income. <br /><br />Ways to refer: (a) You can refer your friends and relatives to join these sites.<br />(<img src="http://www.dreamteammoney.com/style_emoticons/default/cool.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid="B)" border="0" alt="cool.gif" /> sending emails, posting messeges in social networking sites like orkut, hitkut and myspace. <br />© The best to add referral is to buy referral form these sites.<br />How to refer: When you join these PTC sites, they give you your referral link which includes tag of your id. Send this link to your friends and relatives and other people.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br />You can not get premium account instantly by this method. Patience and dedicaton are required for this work. You will not only get premium account but also earn lots of money. you can also use this money to buy items like softwares, mobile phones, laptops, etc...<br /><br /><br /><br />enjoy.....!!!!!<br /><br /><br /><br />$ &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; $&#8230;$<br />$$&#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; $&#8230; &#8230; $<br />$$$&#8230; &#8230; &#8230; $ &#8230; &#8230; &#8230;$<br />$$$$&#8230; &#8230; $ &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230;$<br />$$$$$&#8230; $ &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230;$<br />$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&#8230; &#8230; $&#8230;$&#8230;$&#8230;$&#8230;$<br />$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; $<br />$$$$$$$$$$$$$&#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; . &#8230; &#8230;$<br />$$$$$$$$$$$$&#8230; ... ... .. &#8230; &#8230; ..$<br />$$$$$$$$$$$&#8230; ... ... ... ... ...$<br />$$$$$$$$$$&#8230; ... ... ... .&#8230; $<br />$$$$$$$$$$$&#8230; nice &#8230; &#8230; . $<br />$$$$$$$$$$$$&#8230; shot .. ... &#8230; &#8230;$<br />$$$$$$$$$$$$$&#8230; ........... . &#8230;.......$<br />$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230;$<br />$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$&#8230; &#8230; $... .$&#8230;$&#8230;$<br />$$$$$&#8230;$&#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; $<br />$$$$&#8230; &#8230;$&#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230; $<br />$$$&#8230; &#8230; &#8230;$&#8230; &#8230; &#8230; $<br />$$&#8230; &#8230; &#8230; &#8230;$&#8230; &#8230; $]]></description>
		<pubDate>Sat, 06 Mar 2010 13:50:08 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">93843</guid>
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		<title>Promoting An Office</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=93773</link>
		<description><![CDATA[A psychotherapist was having a roaring business since he started from scratch. <br />So much so that he could now afford to have a proper shop banner advertising <br />his wares. So he told a kid to paint the sign board for him & put it above his <br />shop entrance. <br /><br />But, instead of his business building up, it began to slacken. He had especially <br />noticed the ladies shying away from his shop after reading the sign board. <br />So he decided to check it out himself. Then he understood why ! <br /><br />The boy found a small wooden board so he had split the word into the 3 words : <br /><br />Psycho-<br />the-<br />rapist.<br />]]></description>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Mar 2010 21:57:39 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">93773</guid>
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		<title>A Selection Of One Liners From British Comic Tommy Cooper</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=93661</link>
		<description><![CDATA[<img src="http://www.wessex.me.uk/tommy_cooper.jpg" border="0" alt="IPB Image" /><br /><br /><b>The Late great Tommy Cooper</b><br /><br /><br />Went to the paper shop - it had blown away.<br /><br />I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.<br /><br />I bought some HP sauce the other day. It's costing me 6p a month for the next 2 years.<br /><br />Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone.<br /><br />Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks.  They charged one and let the other one off.<br /><br />A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age.'  The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well.'<br /><br /><br />A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time'<br />The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.<br /><br />A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places'.<br />The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'.<br /><br />I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.<br /><br />Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners<br /><br />I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'have you got anything for wind?'<br />So he gave me a kite.<br /><br />I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for 'flu. <br />So I went, and I got it.'<br /><br /><br />I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. <br />Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair.]]></description>
		<pubDate>Thu, 04 Mar 2010 02:17:53 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">93661</guid>
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		<title>Harry In The First</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=93499</link>
		<description><![CDATA[A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.<br /><br />The teacher asked, "Harry what is your problem?" Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"<br /><br />Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.<br /><br />The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.<br /><br />She agreed.<br /><br />Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.<br /><br />Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9".<br /><br />Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36".<br /><br />And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grader should know.<br /><br />The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the third-grade."<br /><br />Ms Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The principal and Harry both agree.<br /><br />Ms Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Harry after a moment says: "Legs."<br /><br />Ms Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" Harry: "Pockets."<br /><br />Ms Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?" Harry: "Pants"<br /><br />Ms Brooks: "What starts with a C and ends with a T and is hairy, oval, and delicious and contains thin whitish liquid? Harry: Coconut<br /><br />Ms Brooks: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge. Harry : Bubblegum<br /><br />Ms Brooks: What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer; Harry: Shake hands<br /><br />Ms Brooks: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay? Harry: Yep.<br /><br />Ms Brooks: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Harry: Tent<br /><br />Ms Brooks: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense. Harry: Wedding Ring<br /><br />Ms Brooks: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. Harry: Nose<br /><br />Ms Brooks: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver. Harry: Arrow<br /><br />Ms Brooks: What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement? Harry: Fire truck<br /><br />The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last ten questions wrong myself."]]></description>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Mar 2010 03:01:15 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">93499</guid>
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		<title>Mid-life Crisis</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=93481</link>
		<description><![CDATA[Many women put on makeup to make themselves look younger and pretty during the mid-life crisis. But my friend did not do this, so I asked her why? She answered me that make up can’t change her face and it’s just too expensive to use make up so she does not waste her time using it. It seems in this case, thriftiness and common sense beaten the mid-life crisis. My other friend who was with us was in astonished at this that any woman would ever say no to make up. Then again, she is a unique woman all her own.<br />The next thing that I and my friend asked was about her mid-life crisis and what shoes she would wear; a pair of shoes can tell you everything about how a woman is feeling. She wore her usual pair of shoes; no sexy high heels and no sneakers, just the casual sandals she always loves to wear (she lives in the warmer area of Australia) and we asked her why not change the shoes. She responded by saying she is very lazy and doesn't run and high heels are too painful. It was amazing; she is the first woman I have met that has chosen comfort over fashion, mid-life crisis or not she does what she wants.<br />]]></description>
		<pubDate>Tue, 02 Mar 2010 00:03:15 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">93481</guid>
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		<title>An Old Pastor</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=93245</link>
		<description><![CDATA[An old pastor lay dying. He sent a message for an IRS<br />agent and his lawyer to come to the hospital.<br /><br />When they arrived, they were ushered up to his room.<br />As they entered the room, the pastor held out his hands<br />and motioned for them to sit on each side of the bed.<br /><br />The pastor grasped their hands, sighed contentedly, smiled,<br />and stared at the ceiling. For a time, no one said anything.<br />Both the IRS agent and lawyer were touched and flattered<br />that the old man would ask them to be with him during his<br />final moments. They were also puzzled because the pastor<br />had never given any indication that he particularly liked either<br />one of them.<br /><br />Finally, the lawyer asked, “Pastor, why did you ask the<br />two of us to come here?”<br /><br />The old pastor mustered all his strength, then said weakly,<br />“Jesus died between two thieves, and that’s how I want to go.”<br />]]></description>
		<pubDate>Fri, 26 Feb 2010 02:40:05 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">93245</guid>
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		<title>The King Of The Jungle</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=93101</link>
		<description><![CDATA[A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy<br />and mean.<br /><br />He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,<br />“Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”<br /><br />The trembling monkey says, “You are, mighty lion!<br /><br />Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows,<br />“Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?”<br /><br />The terrified ox stammers, “Oh great lion, you are the<br />mightiest animal in the jungle!”<br /><br />On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant<br />and roars, “Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?”<br /><br />Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with<br />his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times<br />leaving the lion feeling like it’d been run over by a safari<br />wagon. The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks<br />like a corn tortilla and ambles away.<br /><br />The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly<br />and hollers after the elephant,<br /><br />“Just because you don’t know the answer,<br />you don’t have to get so upset about it!”<br />]]></description>
		<pubDate>Wed, 24 Feb 2010 11:08:27 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">93101</guid>
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		<title>Husband And Wife Jokes</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=93060</link>
		<description><![CDATA[My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was<br />flipping channels. She asked, 'What's on TV?'<br /><br />I said, 'Dust.'<br /><br /><br />And then the fight started...<br /><br />******************************************<br /><br /><br />My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A<br />Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you<br />want to have sex?"<br /><br />"No," she answered.<br /><br />I then said, "Is that your final answer?"<br /><br />She didn't even look at me this time, simply<br />saying, "Yes."<br /><br />So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a<br />friend."<br /><br />And then the fight started....<br /><br />******************************************<br /><br /><br />Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made<br />my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the<br />boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential<br />downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage,<br />turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad<br />all day.<br /><br />I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and<br />slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with<br />a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out<br />there is terrible."<br /><br />My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you<br />believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"<br /><br />And that's how the fight started...<br /><br />******************************************<br /><br />I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were<br />alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.<br />You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little<br />things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.... He was<br />a DWARF!!! <br /><br />He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted,<br />"I AM NOT HAPPY!!!"<br /><br />So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then<br />which one are you?"<br /><br />And then the fight started.....<br /><br />*****************************************<br /><br /><br />My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our<br />upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny<br />that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.'<br /><br />I bought her a bathroom scale.<br /><br />And then the fight started...<br /><br />******************************************<br /><br /><br />When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I<br />take her some place expensive... So, I took her to a petrol<br />station.<br /><br />And then the fight started...<br /><br />******************************************<br /><br /><br />After retiring, I went to the Social Security office<br />to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me<br />for my driver's License to verify my age. I looked in my<br />pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the<br />woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back<br />later.<br /><br />The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened<br />my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That<br />silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me' and she processed my<br />Social Security application.<br /><br />When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my<br />experience at the Social Security office.<br /><br />She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You<br />might have gotten disability, too.'<br /><br />And then the fight started...<br />******************************************<br /><br /><br />My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion,<br />and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as<br />she sat alone at a nearby table.<br /><br />My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'<br /><br />'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she <br />took to drinking right after we split up those many years<br />ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'<br /><br />'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a<br />person could go on celebrating that long?'<br /><br />And then the fight started...<br /><br />******************************************<br /><br /><br />I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some<br />reason took my order first. "I'll have the steak, medium<br />rare, please."<br /><br />He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad<br />cow?""<br /><br />Nah, she can order for herself."<br /><br />And then the fight started...<br /><br />******************************************<br /><br /><br />A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom<br />mirror. She was <br />not happy with what she saw and said to her husband,<br />"I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you<br />to pay me a compliment.'<br /><br />The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's damn<br />near perfect.'<br /><br />And then the fight started.....<br /><br />]]></description>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Feb 2010 20:46:07 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">93060</guid>
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		<title>English Is Really Crazy</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=93040</link>
		<description><![CDATA[English is really crazy<br />There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.<br /><br />And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?<br /><br />If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?<br /><br />In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?<br /><br />Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?<br /><br />When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.<br /><br />When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.<br />]]></description>
		<pubDate>Tue, 23 Feb 2010 15:32:38 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">93040</guid>
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		<title>Tell Me What I Am</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=92287</link>
		<description><![CDATA[Tell me what I am<br /><br />A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways <br />one day, when they collided at the intersection. They immediately began to <br />argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap. <br /><br />When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should <br />be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since <br />birth. The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating <br />concerning the problems of being blind. <br /><br />The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never <br />been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know <br />exactly what he looked like, or even what he was. The rabbit declared that he <br />had the same problem. Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit <br />proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what <br />the other animal was. <br /><br />The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, <br />he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little <br />fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!" <br /><br />The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor <br />to the snake. After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, <br />"Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither <br />all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. <br /><br /><br /><!--sizeo:5--><span style="font-size:18pt;line-height:100%"><!--/sizeo-->I think you're a lawyer!" <!--sizec--></span><!--/sizec-->]]></description>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Feb 2010 17:04:55 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">92287</guid>
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		<title>A Blind Man Goes To Texas</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=92286</link>
		<description><![CDATA[I don't know if I posted this already, but.... here it goes again.<br /><br />A blind man vists the state of Texas<br />There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. <br />When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, <br />"Wow, these seats are big!" <br />The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas." <br /><br />When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. <br />Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed <br />between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" <br />The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas." <br /><br />After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender <br />where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." <br />The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and <br />skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the <br />swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. <br /><br />Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!" <br /><br /><br />]]></description>
		<pubDate>Fri, 12 Feb 2010 16:58:30 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">92286</guid>
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		<title>Joke</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=92175</link>
		<description><![CDATA[A joke is a short story or ironic depiction of a situation communicated with the intent of being humorous. These jokes will normally have a punchline that will end the sentence to make it humorous. A joke can also be a single phrase or statement that employs sarcasm. The word joke can also be used as a slang term for a person or thing which is not taken seriously by others in general. A practical joke or prank differs from a spoken one in that the major component of the humour is physical rather than verbal (for example placing salt in the sugar bowl).<br />Jokes are typically for the entertainment of friends and onlookers. The desired response is generally laughter; when this does not happen the joke is said to have "fallen flat"<br /><br /><br />Contents <br />1 Psychology of jokes<br />2 Jokes in organizations<br />3 Rules<br />3.1 Precision<br />3.2 Synthesis<br />3.3 Rhythm<br />3.4 Comic<br />3.5 Wit<br />3.6 Humour<br />4 Cycles<br />5 Types of jokes<br />5.1 Subjects<br />5.2 Styles<br />6 See also<br />7 Notes<br />8 References<br />9 Further reading<br />10 External links]]></description>
		<pubDate>Thu, 11 Feb 2010 07:15:04 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">92175</guid>
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		<title>Bloody English Grammar</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=91860</link>
		<description><![CDATA[<br />Principal to student..." I saw u yesterday rotating near girls hostel pulling cigerette...? "<br />*********************************************************************<br />Class teacher once said :<br /><br />" pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!!!"<br /><br />*******************************************<br />once hindi teacher said...."i'm going out of the world to america.."<br /><br />*******************************************<br /><br />"..DON'T TRY TO TALK IN FRONT OF MY BACK.."<br /> <br />*******************************************<br /><br />dont..laugh at the back benches...otherwise teeth and all will be fallen down.....<br /><br />*******************************************<br /><br />it was very hot in the afternoon when the teacher entered.. She tried to switch the fan on, but there was some problem. and then she said<br /><br />" why is fan not oning" (ing form of on)<br /><br />*******************************************<br /><br />teacher in a furious mood...<br /><br />write down ur name and father of ur name!!<br /><br />*******************************************<br /><br />"shhh... quiet... the principal is revolving around college"<br /><br />*******************************************<br /><br />My manager started like this<br /><br />"Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids"<br /> <br />*******************************************<br /><br />"I'll illustrate what i have in my mind" said the professor and erased the board<br /><br />*******************************************<br /><br />"will u hang that calender or else i'll HANG MYSELF"<br /><br />****************************** *************<br /><br />LIBRARIAN SCOLDE ," IF U WILL TALK AGAIN , I WILL KNEEL DOWN OUTSIDE"<br /><br />*******************************************<br /><br />Chemistry HOD comes and tells us...<br /><br />"My aim is to study my son and marry my daughter<br /><br /> <br />]]></description>
		<pubDate>Fri, 05 Feb 2010 23:59:05 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">91860</guid>
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		<title>Computer Jokes</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=91337</link>
		<description><![CDATA[There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire become a great writer.<br /><br />When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"<br /><br />He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.]]></description>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jan 2010 23:26:00 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">91337</guid>
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		<title>Dead Baby Jokes</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=91336</link>
		<description><![CDATA[Dead Baby Jokes- The sickest of all sick jokes. Funny nonetheless. These jokes require a somewhat twisted mind and an iron stomach, so keep a bucket nearby.<br /><br />How do you get 100 dead babies into a trash can?<br />With a blender.<br /><br />How do you get them out?<br />With a straw.<br /><br />What's worse than 10 dead babies is 1 trash can?<br />1 dead baby in 10 trash cans.<br /><br />What's worse than a truckload of dead babies?<br />A live one on the bottom eating its way out.<br /><br />What's the difference between a truckload of dead babies and a truckload of bowling balls?<br />You can use a pitchfork to unload the dead babies.<br /><br />Why do you use a pitchfork to unload a truckload of dead babies?<br />So you can tell which ones are still alive.<br /><br />What's pink, red, and sits in the corner?<br />A dead baby chewing on razor blades.<br /><br />What's black, green, and sits in the corner?<br />Same baby 3 weeks later.<br /><br />What's blue, sparking, and hungry?<br />A dead baby trying to breast feed from a wall socket.<br /><br />What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock?<br />I don't f*** rocks.<br /><br />What's worse than waking up and finding a dead baby on your pillow?<br />Realizing that you were drunk and made love to it the night before.<br /><br />How many dead babies does it take to paint a house?<br />Depends how hard you throw them.<br /><br />What's more fun than stapling dead babies to the wall?<br />Ripping them off again.<br /><br />What's pink, purple, and covered in pus?<br />A peeled baby in a bag of salt.<br /><br />Why did the dead baby cross the road?<br />It was chained to the bumper.<br /><br />What's pink, bubbling, and scratching at the window?<br />A dead baby in a microwave.]]></description>
		<pubDate>Thu, 28 Jan 2010 23:22:34 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">91336</guid>
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		<title>Little Johnny And Babies</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=90918</link>
		<description><![CDATA[Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?"<br /><br />"No," said his mom, "of course not."<br /><br />Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, "It's okay, we can play that game again!"<br /><br />Regards.<br /><br />VEENA <img src="http://www.dreamteammoney.com/style_emoticons/default/beercheers.gif" style="vertical-align:middle" emoid=":beercheers:" border="0" alt="beercheers.gif" />]]></description>
		<pubDate>Sat, 23 Jan 2010 15:44:49 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">90918</guid>
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		<title>Amazingly Simple Home Remedies - Too Funny</title>
		<link>http://www.dreamteammoney.com/index.php?showtopic=90126</link>
		<description><![CDATA[Amazingly Simple Home Remedies - Too Funny<br />Sorry bout the caps, it was an email forward...<br /><br />Amazingly Simple Home Remedies<br /><br />AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.<br /><br />AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.<br /><br />FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.<br /><br />A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.<br /><br />IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. YOU'LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.<br /><br />YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.<br /><br />IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.<br /><br />DAILY THOUGHT: SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS]]></description>
		<pubDate>Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:55:28 -0500</pubDate>
		<guid isPermaLink="false">90126</guid>
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